The Musician: parts 2 – 6

I’m not dead! Ha! Much has happened in real life and now that things have settled, I can’t wait to give this little blog on the interwebs and Instagram, a lil more lovin’. If you’re digging these stories and little doodles, I’d be thrilled if you joined The Struggle to be the first notified on new blog posts and exclusive Strugglers only content and of course follow me on Instagram! Amazeballs!

So if you read The Musician – part 1, I saw him another 5 times. Sigh. Another fiveeeeee times for it to go absolutely nowhere.

Am I a masochist?

So because the dates actually happened so long ago (i.e. late last year in 2017) and I’m only updating now let’s speed through the highlights (or lowlights) depending on how you look at it.

Date 2

• It was a lunch time date at an Italian place, which then led to a walk around Hyde Park while sipping on a juice and late afternoon cocktails overlooking Darling Harbour. I like day time dates, it gives you a chance to actually see what they look like for real, without a helpful filter from dimly lit lights.
• He was a few minutes late, but no biggie and the first thing he said when he sat down was: “I have a medical condition that causes me to sweat a lot, like my palms, armpits, bottom of my feet…” He excused himself and went to the bathroom.

• Before the date, he had sent me a few photos of this special Nepali celebration he just celebrated with his family (and during the date) he revealed he actually thought about inviting me to attend (but he didn’t.) Then he even thought about bringing me some handmade dumplings to the date (but then thought against it.) (Side note: What was he thinking potentially inviting me to MEET HIS FAMILY before the SECOND DATE, BAHAHAHA.)

• Then during late afternoon drinks, it got real deep, real quick, where he revealed he has a “hard time letting people in, because he’s scared he’s going to lose them.”
  • End of date feelings: Whoa Nelly! This is only our second Tinder date, relax… let’s talk about our favourite tv shows?

Date 3

• Another day time date, except this time I was hung over AF.

• Today’s date included a pub lunch, enjoying an iced coffee walking around the Botanical gardens, another juice and dinner at a Nepali restaurant.
• This guy was really not scared to ask the hard questions. Today he asked “what I thought of him” and even cited a specific line in my Tinder profile (when I tried to delay answering.)
• He opened the ex-files… (cue the most PERFECT matching gif)

and asked when my last relationship was and how long it was! (WTF- here I am, hungover AF and was totally not prepared for these bombshell questions…)

• He revealed his last relationship of 3 years ended abruptly when he found out she was cheating on him and he had considered proposing and was looking into diamond rings… *ouch* then fell into a bit of depression.
  • End of date feelings: Reading back on this, on face value it looks like this guy was looking for a serious relationship. Asking the hard questions up front, i.e. “not wasting time.” But there was something not quite right and I couldn’t figure out what it was. It’s that gut feeling you know?

Date 4

• A chill Sunday night pre-drink + Japanese burgers for dinner.
• He talked a lot about himself and hardly asked any questions about me.

• End of date feelings: I’m starting to feel like his therapist. What gives? What am I still doing seeing this guy?!

Date 5

• Another day time date where we had brunch and then went to a Singaporean cultural festival.
• Today I discovered he drinks alcohol like a fish and can drink 2 bottles of scotch by himself before he even starts to feel drunk tipsy. He told me that on some weekends he meets up with his colleagues from work to get absolutely smashed and even if he doesn’t have any plans on the weekend, he’d drink up to 2 bottles of scotch by himself. He got so drunk the night before this date, he took an Uber home the night before, vomited twice outside his apartment and left his phone in the car and proceeded to freak out the next day about his lost phone.

• We talked about how he’s getting ready to move into his new apartment with his sister and needs a certain level of cleanliness, especially in shared areas like the kitchen, bathroom etc. He then revealed that he sits on the toilet to pee (because there’s no splash back, no chance of missing nor getting urine onto one’s pants and he’s been a sitting convert since 2-3 years ago.) ZOMG. Did not need to know this.

• End of date feelings: This guy clearly has a lot of emotional and alcohol related issues, but I saw him for another date after this. Why do I put myself through this kinda stuff?

Date 6

I noted down that there was a date 6, but can’t recall what we did? Probably a lunch somewhere?

What did I learn from all these dates?

Although he was shorter than I am, he was hot, a little bit weird and had a full tattoo sleeve (and was in the process of colouring in his second arm), so I learned quite a bit about tattoos from him (as I’ve been thinking of getting one for ages, but haven’t yet taken the plunge.)

I probably also initially saw him as a project for potential to “fix”, but men are simple creatures and almost impossible to change. If they wanted to change, the change would need to come from within himself and not someone else trying to change or fix him. Clearly after all those years, he had not spent the time nor energy working on himself to resolve those emotional issues and hence developed a very, very high tolerance for alcohol… He attempted to set up some further dates after date 6 and I ignored him for a while, because I wasn’t sure how to tell him this was going to go nowhere. But as a grown ass woman, sometimes you just gotta be frank and be honest. Just before Christmas I told him that (but worded in a nicer way).

Goodbye you daaaang hot musician.